Finals #3 - Doesn't promise to be fair
Tom Stewart has always known disappointment isn't a detour - it's part of the journey. His circuitous path into AFL football taught him that early. Friday night was just another reminder of the game's capacity to humble anyone, anytime.
A true vocation calls us out beyond ourselves; breaks our heart in the process and then humbles, simplifies and enlightens us about the hidden, core nature of the work that enticed us in the first place."
David Whyte
___________________
Twenty minutes.
That's the time Tom Stewart spent 'In the arena' on Preliminary Final. Then Mabior Chol's tackle, his head hitting the ground, and everything changed.
The Cats won, but it's season over for the champion defender.
A week from now, his teammates will run out on Grand Final day without him. Every fibre of his being had been working and building towards this moment. But never with anticipation, expectation or entitlement, despite having been there before.
Now the football world's anticipation builds toward next Saturday, but without him, and his absence leaves a Tom Stewart-sized hole in their defence, and a thousand opinions on how it best be filled, knowing that it cannot.
Just when our fairytale seems poised to come true, a wolf appears.
The arena promises many things, but at no time does it promise to be fair.
We all somehow carry this silly assumption with us - if we're good, if we work hard, if we do everything right, the world will reward us accordingly. Stewart knows better. We all should. The world violates this assumption every day.
Stewart has always known disappointment isn't a detour - it's part of the journey. His circuitous path into AFL football taught him that early. Friday night was just another reminder of the game's capacity to humble anyone, anytime.
"The game doesn't give up its rewards easily", words I first heard a quarter of a century ago from Demon coach Neale Daniher, after we were beaten in a Preliminary Final in 1998, and they have grounded me many times since.
Fremantle superstar Nat Fyfe repeated them after his last game just a few weeks back, a heartbreaking loss in a final, retiring without the premiership that eluded him. Yet Fyfe found something deeper: "I don't need anything further", he said, and even wondered if maybe it was more important not to win than to win, given the lessons he now carries forward.
Stewart, like Fyfe, understands what the arena asks - give everything for the possibility of many things, mostly the opportunity of becoming better, with no promise of fairness or reward.
Tom Stewart knows the world isn't fair and it isn't easy.
His Instagram post afterwards: "Obviously shattered with what happened last night, but so grateful and overwhelmed with all of the love and support I have received by so many. Couldn't be more proud of this group and to be a part of this amazing club is something that I truly cherish."
For all the heartbreak, he's counting his blessings. So much good in his life, making the disappointments and their inevitability, worth it.
The game carries on without him. Not just any game, the biggest game, an AFL Grand Final. But to play the infinite game is never about winning or losing. It's about how you respond in moments just like these, when something so deserved gets taken away. But Tom Stewart will be there for his teammates, leading from wherever he can, however he can.
The measure of the person is in the response.
Stewart's courage isn't just in the hundreds of contests he's won. It's in how he is facing this moment. Shattered but grateful, heartbroken but still believing.
Winning is fleeting. So fleeting that in elite sport, almost immediately comes the thought "What next?". But the process of becoming lasts a lifetime. When you're in the midst of disappointment, it's hard. When you're through it, you know you can endure. What was overwhelmingly difficult now seems possible.
You cannot buy wisdom, experience... and perspective. Tom Stewart has perspective.
Whatever first drew him to football as a kid still lives in him. It will call him back, but with an even deeper appreciation and insight.
Play on!
My work builds on the belief that leadership is the defining characteristic of every great organisation or team.
You cannot outperform your leadership.
Our offering is designed for leaders who know that personal leadership effectiveness drives team and organisational performance and that there must be a better, more efficient and effective way to learn leadership.
Feel free to connect, or make contact
